“In Italy it’s better not to tell civil servants that they are dead tired: you risk being reported for desecrating a corpse.”
“Mental faculties are particularly developed in hostile environments. For example, Jews developed a great intelligence to defend themselves from persecution, Italians to defend themselves from the State.”
”In the Italian public administration, the process of dematerialization of documents has reached a very advanced level: it coincides with their disappearance.”
“When the manager signs the letters, if his company font changes, he gets really angry. He’s a man of character.”
“When the Scots painted their faces blue, Italians were already fags. That’s why they are not afraid of when the European troika will come: they already have some experience.”
“Bankers have an instinctive distrust of honest people with little money. They prefer their own kind.”
“Scientists found out that in order to be considered true, every lie must contain a twenty percent truth. Italian public administration is very scientific: out of ten public bid winners, eight are recommended and two are good.”
In the sixth volume of the series, Brianna’s “afoolisms” become particularly fierce. Favorite targets: ruthless companies, political prostitution, stupid bureaucracy, cynical banks, thieving government, ruling class – or better say lurid – unjust taxation and so on and so forth.
Anger, psychologists say, can be destructive when it bursts into harmful aggression towards others and oneself, or constructive, when it encourages, even through sarcastic humor, to rebel against injustice.
The author is particularly optimistic about that: “It is not true that Italians are not capable of making a revolution. They are quite good at revolting a hottie when they see one.”
Elisabeth V.A. was born on the 25th of July in an undefined year in the second half of the 80s, in an undefined country between the Alps and the North Pole.
Precision and geography have never been her strength.
She talks about herself in third person because she isn’t quite herself.
Attracted by the fashion world like many other girls, as soon as she arrived in Milan she went to a model agency, whose fashion designer was not gay enough, and after her first runway she run away.
Afterwards she worked in advertising as a copyrider, then she moved on because it wasn’t the best track for her.
After eighteen months of precarious employment in the Italian public administration she felt the need to enroll in Psychology, although perhaps Psychiatry would have been more appropriate.
One mid-winter night she noticed that a broken boiler starts working again if you insert the plug in the opposite direction.
She applied the same principle and after a failed experience of creative cooking and traditional writing, she reversed the polarities: since then she got into traditional cooking and creative writing.
She won the “Dumbest Self Marketing in the World” International Award.
Since she hates to show off, she founded the Absentialist Club, of which the publisher, graphic designer and webmaster are full members.
In line with the spirit of the Club, the volumes she has published are obviously absent from the shelves of the major bookstores in the world.
She loves Italian food (well, you can’t always be original…), downtempo/trip-hop music, satire, satyrs (if they existed…) and serious people, those who never take themselves too seriously.
She hates everything that is straitlaced (except for laced coffee), she can’t stand nuisance, especially public nuisance: the term includes TV, social networks, department store’s music, politics, gossip, compulsive stalkers, obsessive whatsappers, mass-producers of fake news, haters, and those who have nothing to say but they say it anyway.