“A superficial man generally doesn’t like a deep woman, unless he is particularly well-hung.”
“A friend of mine discovered the involution of species. After she divorced from a Homo Sapiens Sapiens, she tried with several Homo Sapiens; then she went straight to the Homo Erectus.”
“Women like mysterious men: they become charming. Men don’t like mysterious women too much: they become impenetrable.”
“When it comes to sex toys, feminists complain about the lack of inflatable dolls. According to the manufacturers, the product has no market: it is already out there in flesh and blood.”
“Geometry is objective; the perception of geometric shapes is subjective. For example, women have many sides, but the average man only sees one: the backside.”
“The son of a close friend of mine, when hungry for food, only eats hot dogs. My ex too has exclusive tastes, with a difference. When he’s hungry for sex, he rejects the dogs and only seeks the hot.”
In the fifth volume of the collection, the Afoolisms become particularly hot, or rather hog.
The fact that there is a genetic similarity between men and pigs is widely demonstrated: in fact, various religions rightly prohibit the consumption of pork, as it is an act of cannibalism.
What nobody says, however, is that even for women, underneath it all, as Brianna says, “that’s a pig of silver lining…”.
Elisabeth V.A. was born on the 25th of July in an undefined year in the second half of the 80s, in an undefined country between the Alps and the North Pole.
Precision and geography have never been her strength.
She talks about herself in third person because she isn’t quite herself.
Attracted by the fashion world like many other girls, as soon as she arrived in Milan she went to a model agency, whose fashion designer was not gay enough, and after her first runway she run away.
Afterwards she worked in advertising as a copyrider, then she moved on because it wasn’t the best track for her.
After eighteen months of precarious employment in the Italian public administration she felt the need to enroll in Psychology, although perhaps Psychiatry would have been more appropriate.
One mid-winter night she noticed that a broken boiler starts working again if you insert the plug in the opposite direction.
She applied the same principle and after a failed experience of creative cooking and traditional writing, she reversed the polarities: since then she got into traditional cooking and creative writing.
She won the “Dumbest Self Marketing in the World” International Award.
Since she hates to show off, she founded the Absentialist Club, of which the publisher, graphic designer and webmaster are full members.
In line with the spirit of the Club, the volumes she has published are obviously absent from the shelves of the major bookstores in the world.
She loves Italian food (well, you can’t always be original…), downtempo/trip-hop music, satire, satyrs (if they existed…) and serious people, those who never take themselves too seriously.
She hates everything that is straitlaced (except for laced coffee), she can’t stand nuisance, especially public nuisance: the term includes TV, social networks, department store’s music, politics, gossip, compulsive stalkers, obsessive whatsappers, mass-producers of fake news, haters, and those who have nothing to say but they say it anyway.