“I’m not paying a therapist, but a dumbass instead: when I have low self-esteem, talking to him makes me feel immediately smarter.”
“Before you start speaking, make sure that your brain is connected. However, often the problem is not the lack of connection, but the absence of signal.”
“Computers are getting better than humans in terms of intelligence, but they still have so much to learn in terms of stupidity.”
“As ants show, stupid individuals, duly organized, form a collective intelligence; as Italians show, intelligent individuals, duly disorganized, form a collective stupidity.”
“The computer is stupid but usually fast, the man is slow but usually smart: that’s why it’s useful to put them together. There’s a problem though, when they’re matched by a bureaucrat: in such cases usually a slow PC is paired with a stupid man.”
“Feminine intelligence is about letting men think that women are less intelligent than them.”
“I often feel that people play me. In my past life I might have been a musical instrument.”
In these seven sentences lies the “nonsense” of this zany-sarcastic-surreal volume in which “any resemblance to real events and/or to real persons is purely wanted”.
Please note: the book is sold at full price: no cheap jokes.
Elisabeth V.A. was born on the 25th of July in an undefined year in the second half of the 80s, in an undefined country between the Alps and the North Pole.
Precision and geography have never been her strength.
She talks about herself in third person because she isn’t quite herself.
Attracted by the fashion world like many other girls, as soon as she arrived in Milan she went to a model agency, whose fashion designer was not gay enough, and after her first runway she run away.
Afterwards she worked in advertising as a copyrider, then she moved on because it wasn’t the best track for her.
After eighteen months of precarious employment in the Italian public administration she felt the need to enroll in Psychology, although perhaps Psychiatry would have been more appropriate.
One mid-winter night she noticed that a broken boiler starts working again if you insert the plug in the opposite direction.
She applied the same principle and after a failed experience of creative cooking and traditional writing, she reversed the polarities: since then she got into traditional cooking and creative writing.
She won the “Dumbest Self Marketing in the World” International Award.
Since she hates to show off, she founded the Absentialist Club, of which the publisher, graphic designer and webmaster are full members.
In line with the spirit of the Club, the volumes she has published are obviously absent from the shelves of the major bookstores in the world.
She loves Italian food (well, you can’t always be original…), downtempo/trip-hop music, satire, satyrs (if they existed…) and serious people, those who never take themselves too seriously.
She hates everything that is straitlaced (except for laced coffee), she can’t stand nuisance, especially public nuisance: the term includes TV, social networks, department store’s music, politics, gossip, compulsive stalkers, obsessive whatsappers, mass-producers of fake news, haters, and those who have nothing to say but they say it anyway.